Despicable
by Sakura Keiko
Summary: Ron and Lavender are dating. What would Hermione's reaction be? Will she move on and start liking someone else or will she try ruining Ron and Lavender's relationship?
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: This is dedicated to my real life friends, Eula and Amary, because they both love Harry Potter, like I do. (Even though they don't support the Ron/Hermione pairing much)**

"Hermione?"

I don't react to the voice, nor make any acknowledgement of the presence. I sit still, watching drop after drop after drop of rain fall from the dark sky. The sky is crying. And so am I.

"You okay?" Harry asks as he sits beside me.

I mutter a word that doesn't exist. Harry seems to understand though, because he stays quiet as the sky mirrors the emotions that are having a war inside of me.

"Am I despicable?" I asked, surprising myself with this sudden burst of confidence.

"Of course not." Harry replied. You see, that's just the kind of friend I need at times like this. Why couldn't I have fallen in love with him instead?

Even if he loves Ginny, I would be perfectly satisfied having a one-sided love with Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived.

That doesn't make me feel better though. Why? Because Ronald Weasley, the boy I love in _reality_, was making out with a certain Lavender Brown. _Again_. It's pretty obvious that he doesn't like me, but can't he at least avoid snogging in front of me while I'm concentrating on my Ancient Runes essay?

"You can tell him, you know," Harry advised. "So he can at least stop making out in front of you."

"I'd rather not," I replied quickly, not even bothering to think, because even if I spend four hours thinking about it, I'm pretty sure I'll come to the same conclusion. "I wouldn't want to ruin their little infatuation."

"_Infatuation?"_ Harry asked, chuckling. "So you think their relationship wasn't made on true love."

"Yes."

We were quiet for a while. I found out I have stopped crying on the outside, but I was still crying inside. I wonder if that would make sense if I said it out loud. After all, a lot of things that make sense in your mind doesn't make sense when you say it.

"Why don't you look for someone else?" I knew he meant to be nice, but it hurt.

"I've tried," I managed to choke out, before the memories of Ron and Lavender's _snogging_ invaded my mind and I started crying again.

"Hermione, why are you so _mad_?" Ron shouted, following me out of the Gryffindor common room.

"I don't know!" And I know I wasn't lying. Well, partly, that is.

"Hermione can't you stop stomping and listen to me for a second!"

I stopped walking—stomping, he describes. I didn't face him though. I knew that seeing his face, all worried and sad, would break me down to tears again.

His voice was definite. "Hermione, do you have a problem with me and Lavender?"

Before I could catch myself, an affirmation came out of my mouth and I dashed to the library as fast as I could, so before he can react to what I said, I would be fifty yards away from him.

* * *

><p>Evading Ronald Weasley also meant evading all the Weasleys and trust me, it isn't easy. Fred and George, for example, are masters at tracking people down.<p>

Fortunately, Cormac Mclaggen spotted me and began to talk. The Weasley twins knew that they'd each get a punch in the nose if they mentioned Ronald in front of him.

"Is something bothering you, Hermione?" I've just now noticed how nice Cormac is when he's not trying to kiss you under the mistletoe.

"Oh, I'm fine." I smiled at him. "Just a little tired, but fine, over all."

"That's good," He smiled back.

It was very awkward, since Cormac enjoys gazing at my face more than actually listening to what I say. But since I'm not in a right state of mind at the moment, I told him everything. How I loved Ron. How I hated him. How I hated Lavender. How I hated Ron and Lavender.

He seemed to have understood though, despite the cranky manner I used in telling the story. He offered me a few words of advice, but some of them weren't really helpful. It was obvious he hadn't been jealous for a long time.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Hermione, but I need to go right now." Cormac excused himself, glancing at the clock.

"It's okay. I was going to go too anyway. I'm going to finish my Ancient Runes Essay since I was disturbed the first time I attempted to do it."

He smiled. "Good luck, then."

* * *

><p>"Ron's looking for you, you know." Luna informed me.<p>

"Let him look."

Luna frowned. Then, she spoke, "Hermione, if you really love someone—and I mean _really, really—_you should try to listen to him and try to understand how he feels. "

Luna and Neville is a couple now.

"I'll put that in mind," I said, though I wasn't really planning on putting it in my mind. "How are you and Neville, by the way?"

"Fine. Neville's really nice and caring," Luna complimented, having her usual dreamy face on. "He keeps insisting to kiss though."

That last statement surprised me. "You don't kiss?"

"Just rarely. When something that demands that kind of reaction appears." Luna says.

"Oh," was all I was able to say. If Ron and I were to become a couple—_if_—would he insist on kissing me or would he be like Luna?

* * *

><p>"Hermione!"<p>

I turned around and saw Ginny running up to me.

"Ginny?"

"Can you _please_ go confess to my brother now, so he would break up with that filthy Lavender?" Ginny pleaded. "She's—She's messing him up! I swear, he's going _mad_."

_Mad._ The same word Ron described me as, even though its meaning was different. If we were both mad, would we be able to establish a romantic relationship? I've read of those kinds of relationships in Muggle books. Do they actually work in real life?

Wait a minute. What am I thinking? What is happening to me? _Mad_.

I wonder if I really _am_ mad.

"Hermione!" Ginny's voice snapped me out from my thoughts.

"I can't—Ginny, you know I can't do that." I told her, even though I _could_ if I wanted to.

Ginny frowned at me. There was disbelief in her eyes.

"I _know_ you can," She said. "Don't you _want_ them to break up? Almost everyone wants them to, you know? So, not only would you be doing yourself and Ron a favor, but you would also be doing a favor to everyone in Gryffindor."

"Ginny, not _everyone_ in Gryffindor—"

"_Most people in Gryffindor_, then!" She said, rising her voice.

I was silent when she left.

**A/n: That's all for now. :) I've already written chapter two, but I haven't edited it and proofread it yet, so I'd probably take some time with that, what with our exams coming up. (Wish me luck!)**

**What do you think? This is my first Harry Potter fanfiction and you would grant me a lot of happiness if you drop a review. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

I'm glad I'm sick today.

I won't need to see Ronald Weasley then. I don't mind being alone in our dormitory, since I've got lots of reading material to keep me company. Maybe I should reread _Hogwarts—A History_, since I've been forgetting some crucial facts lately. Or maybe I should get started on _Predicting the Unpredictable: Insulate Yourself against Shocks._ It looks like a fascinating book. But I would also like to browse through_ Olde and Forgotten Bewitchments and Charmes_, since it is written in Old English and I would certainly want to learn more about old charms.

As I was trying to decide which of the three I'm going to read, my eyes wandered to the end of my bed, where my old, trusty chest was. There was something sticking out from the side and I craned my neck to try and identify what it was. When that didn't work, I stood up and walked over to the chest and my eyes widened at the object wedged between the lid and the body of the wooden trunk.

I opened it a little and pulled the soft stuffed toy from it. It was the little stuffed Kneazle Ron had given me a few weeks after Crookshanks died. Seeing it again almost made me want to apologize to him, but I reminded myself that he was not worth it.

And so, I tossed it back to my trunk and continued contemplating on what I will read for the day.

Just as soon as I've opened _Predicting the Unpredictable: Insulate Yourself against Shocks,_ the door slammed open and Lavender Brown came stomping inside.

You could almost feel her anger in the air as she neared my bed. Perhaps her precious Ronniekins didn't allow her to snog him during class.

"You!" She shouted, pointing a trembling finger toward me. Her nose was scrunched up and her eyes were positioned in a way that looked a lot like a permanent glare. She looked absolutely furious.

"Don't you have class, Lavender?" I asked, completely ignoring her brief statement.

"You just ruined my _life_ and you _dare_ ask me about going to those _awful_ classes!" Lavender shouted again, stepping closer.

I do hope I have the energy to run in case I need to.

"Tell me," I said, sitting up on my bed, "how _exactly_ did I ruin your life?"

I could tell that she dearly wished to pull out my hair at that particular moment, but she didn't. Instead, she turned around, and with one last glare, she slammed the door behind her. I wonder why she didn't hurt me, when I was there, completely defenseless. Perhaps it was her pride holding her back. We all know, after all, that Lavender Brown has lots of ounces of pride.

I was used to this, Lavender's sudden outbursts. She never told me before that I ruined her life though. Instead, she took joy in calling me a sufferable know-it-all and a filthy, disgusting Mud Blood.

And with that, I continued reading.

* * *

><p>"Hermione! Hermione!"<p>

I turned around and saw Ginny running toward me really fast. She seemed out of breath as if she ran through the whole school, looking just for me. Judging from the look of her face, I'm supposed to be really happy with what she's going to say.

"Ginny," I greeted. "Hello."

She breathed in and out twice, then quickly grabbed my hand, running through the hallways. "No time, for formalities. We need to _go._ Gosh, Hermione, can't you run faster?"

I glared at her for a second. "Of all people, Ginny, you should know that I am not the sporty kind and therefore, do not possess much capability to—"

Ginny groaned at an attempt to make me stop talking and picked up speed, while I struggled to keep up. But, of course, I could never outrun a Gryffindor Chaser. It was just not done.

After about five minutes of constant running, Ginny abruptly stopped in front of a wall.

I looked at her curiously to figure out what she would intend to do. Before I could question her, though, there was a low rumbling sound and my head snapped up back to the wall.

I stared at it as it slowly separated, leaving a large, maroon door in its wake. After a few seconds, the gray wall that was once there was gone, leaving nothing but clumps of dust and the big door.

I glanced at Ginny again and she smiled, gesturing for me to go in. I didn't. You couldn't blame me for having doubt that whatever was behind the door was safe. The wall just _disappeared_, for Merlin's sake! How could you be sure that there wasn't an endless vortex behind the door, just waiting to pull you in?

"Hermione, just go inside already." Ginny urged, her tone impatient.

"Not until you tell me what's inside."

Ginny sighed, apparently having known that I would be skeptical about this. "Don't you trust me?"

I was taken aback by this. "Of course, I do! I just—"

"Then show me you trust me and get your butt inside that door." She ordered, defiant.

She obviously practiced this. It was evident, since Ginny could never improvise on a whim.

I reluctantly put my right foot in front and slowly made my way toward the door. I glanced back one last time before putting my hand on the metal knob and turning it.

What I saw inside the room was something I never expected to see.

* * *

><p><strong>An: Whoops. You get only until there for now. Haha. Review?**

**(You probably hate me now for putting a cliffhanger there.)**


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